Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i wish my penis had a tongue
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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