Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
