i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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