you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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