big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
