Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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