From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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