Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Randomize
