Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
