My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
