Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
