guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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