Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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