Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
