What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
