So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
