Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
