I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
