hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Be still, my beating vagina.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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