I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
