He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
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