She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
