I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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