So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
