Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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