I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
