At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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