Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
