Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
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I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize