Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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