At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
