Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
