This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
