I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Randomize
