Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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