so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
