We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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