best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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