i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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