for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
