the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
