you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize