I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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