when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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