now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Actions speak louder than pants.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
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