I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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