It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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