i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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