2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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