it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
