Me too!
He had one of those small greek statue penises
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Mom said you looked used
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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