Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
