I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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