i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
