Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
