I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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