she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
