If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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