ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i would punch a child for taco bell
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
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