I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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