She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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