I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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