I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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