Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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