my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
