your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize